Embracing Uncertainty

1. Introduction

2. Themes of Uncertainty in Pure Evil

3. Embracing Uncertainty in Our Own Lives

4. Book Review - Mickey Spillane’s The Twisted Thing

5. Conclusion

Introduction

I want to start this week by embracing a little vulnerability. Right now, uncertainty is a major theme in my life. The deconstruction process isn’t something with a clear endpoint—I may be unraveling and rebuilding my understanding of the world for the rest of my life. While working on my Substack article about Christianity as a socio-political ideology rather than just a religion, I came across the Treaty of Tripoli, written and endorsed by John Adams. It plainly states, “the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.” Reading that forced me to reconsider yet another deeply ingrained belief about the world I thought I knew.

Then there’s the current political landscape—another source of uncertainty. People are drawing battle lines, firing back and forth in yet another fight that seems to go nowhere. And, for once, I actually see both sides. That only adds to my sense of uncertainty. Many find comfort in the certainty that the Word of God provides, and I wouldn’t take that from them. But to me, its meaning has been stretched over millennia, shaped by countless authors, cultures, languages, and translations. Certainty in that book is often found only when you force it into the framework you were raised with.

I find these and other personal issues of uncertainty surrounding me this week as I work and write. However, I have discovered a certain blessedness in uncertainty. In fact, if you have come to a place in your life where you have all the answers, you will soon find yourself bored and beginning to stagnate. Uncertainty is the way toward growth. It allows you to ask more questions. It allows for bolder, tougher questions. And you know you're doing it right if your questions lead to more questions.

The Tao te Ching says that “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.” At the beginning of my spiritual awakening, I took this to mean that when you think you have God all figured out, everything changes, and you suddenly realize you don't know anything. That's where you want to be. You want to be at a place where you can be curious, where you can reach out, and where there are no wrong answers.

This is where I find myself at the moment—embracing the questions, the uncertainty, and the possibility of growth. And while that doesn't always come easy, I have learned to trust that it is in this space of not knowing that true transformation happens. It is here, in this uncertain place, that I find my path forward—one question at a time.

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My own personal uncertainties have found their way into my latest novel, Pure Evil, the sequel to Nick Grayson: The Truth in the Lies. This time, Nick Grayson investigates the world of Multi-Level Marketing—where promises of financial certainty crumble into broken dreams and bankrupt lives.

Nick also wrestles with the uncertainty of the Catholic faith he was raised in. Through flashbacks to his 13-year-old self, we see “Nicky” grappling with the trauma of a perverted priest, one quietly relocated before his sins could be exposed. Now, Nicky must decide whether he can trust the young Father Rousseau—a man who seems different, yet carries the weight of the same institution.

These flashbacks reveal a rebellious, troubled Nicky—a kid with a knack for fighting and a darkness of his own to contend with. Readers will also meet a young Bob Harris and Nicky’s childhood love interest, Elena Martinez.

I can’t wait to share this story with you!

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Ask yourself: How am I embracing uncertainty in my own life?

One practice that has helped me in recent months is journaling. Writing down your uncertainties has a transformative effect—it pulls them from the realm of thought into the physical world, giving you power over them. It also brings clarity. When you put your doubts onto paper, you're forced to articulate them, which naturally leads to deeper reflection and problem-solving.

Here are a few ways to make journaling a powerful tool for embracing uncertainty:

• Stream-of-consciousness writing: Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write whatever comes to mind about your uncertainties—no filtering, no editing. Just let it flow.

• Question-based journaling: Instead of focusing on answers, write down your biggest questions. Keep returning to them over time to see how your thoughts evolve.

• Letter to your future self: Write a letter to yourself a year from now, explaining your current doubts and what you hope to learn from them.

• Gratitude for the unknown: List three things about uncertainty that you appreciate. It could be the possibilities it brings, the lessons it teaches, or the new experiences it leads to.

• Track your progress: Revisit past entries and note how your perspective has changed over time. You may find that what once felt overwhelming now feels like an important step in your journey.

The key is consistency. The more you engage with your uncertainties in writing, the more you’ll find yourself growing comfortable with them—and even seeing them as opportunities.

* *

Today, I want to review a classic noir thriller written by one of the genre’s greatest masters—The Twisted Thing by Mickey Spillane. While noir boasts many talented writers, three stand above the rest. First, there’s Dashiell Hammett, the genre’s founder. Then, Raymond Chandler, who refined its mystique. And finally, Mickey Spillane, who injected a post-war perspective, amped up the sensationalism, and introduced the tough-guy grit of Mike Hammer. Of these three, Spillane has likely influenced my own writing the most.

Yet The Twisted Thing is a departure from the usual Mike Hammer setting.

The book was written in the 1950s but wasn’t published until 1966. It almost feels as if Spillane took a traditional English mystery setting and dropped an American hard-boiled detective right into the middle of it. Instead of the usual concrete jungle of New York City, we’re taken to a remote hamlet far from the city limits. The mystery centers around the immensely wealthy Rudolph York, whose son, Ruston, has been kidnapped. York, now aged and frail, is surrounded by scheming relatives—vultures circling, waiting for his wealth to pass into their hands. It’s a setup that leans more into inheritance, family secrets, and the classic “whodunit” formula than Spillane’s usual urban crime scenes.

While Police Chief Pat Chambers makes a brief cameo, he’s barely involved in the action—a notable departure from the norm. Even more striking is the absence of Velda, Mike’s ever-loyal secretary and constant admirer. Without her usual presence—and the tension that comes with her disapproval of Mike’s romantic entanglements—Hammer is free to pursue the women around him without restraint. And, true to form, he does exactly that.

Yet, while it deviates from the typical Mike Hammer formula, it retains enough of the hard-boiled genre’s core elements to feel like an enjoyable detour rather than a wrong turn. The language and style follow the American detective tradition—short, punchy sentences and hard-hitting action. Unlike an Agatha Christie-style mystery, this one moves at a relentless pace, packed with fistfights, double-crosses, and gunfire.

Mike Hammer’s trademark cynicism and toughness are on full display. He doesn’t mince words, frequently resorting to insults, intimidation, and brute force to push his way to the truth. And, of course, there’s no shortage of graphic violence—an essential ingredient in any noir thriller. By page 46, we’re already knee-deep in murder, complete with a grisly meat-cleaver killing. The novel doesn’t shy away from other dark themes either, touching on blackmail and a lesbian relationship—sensational subject matter for its time. That’s a lot of punch packed into just 160 pages.

Just when I thought I had it all figured out, Spillane threw a curveball that left me stunned. The twist comes out of nowhere and keeps you on the edge of your seat. I won’t spoil it, but if you manage to track down a copy, I guarantee you won’t see the culprit coming.

Overall, the deviations from the typical noir setting enhance the story rather than detract from it. Spillane, a true master of the genre, walks the tightrope between hard-boiled grit and country-house mystery with remarkable skill. The classic noir elements—violence, cynicism, and relentless action—translate surprisingly well into this unfamiliar setting. If you’re a fan of noir fiction, this is one book you’ll want to add to your “to be read” list.

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I don't think Spillane would have succeeded like he did if he didn't try changing the formula once in awhile as he did in The Twisted Thing. There's no certainty in taking a bold move like that. And I hope you'll keep that in mind. Life is uncertain. And it's meant to be. So step into uncertainty, and see how you grow because of it.

I invite you to reflect on the themes we’ve explored today—uncertainty, transformation, and perspective. How do you embrace uncertainty in your own life? Do you see it as a burden or an opportunity for growth? Whether it’s through journaling, exploring new ideas, or immersing yourself in a gripping novel, the way we engage with the unknown shapes our journey.

This week, I challenge you to lean into the questions rather than rushing toward answers. Find comfort in curiosity. Let the twists and turns—whether in life or in a good book—remind you that growth happens in the space between certainty and doubt.

Wishing you a week filled with discovery and inspiration.